Nick.

I first met Nick because he dated a neighbor/friend of mine. I couldn’t help it, but I was immediately attracted to him and jealous of her. #uglyfeelings  Then months…maybe even years…later, we matched on Plenty of Fish (PoF).

I clicked “like.”  And so did he. But he didn’t remember me from before. I wasn’t mad. It’s not like I was trying to make myself known to him before… I was background noise.  We texted for a bit…maybe a week.  Then one night I was drunk, feeling tipsy and horny, and texted him.  He, to my surprise, came over.

Of course, he knew where I lived.  It was familiar to him and he was familiar to me.  I let him inside and after offering him a drink, which he accepted, then we drank awkwardly on the couch.  Finally, we started to make out on my forrest green couch.  My grandparents had help me buy this couch. They would be embarrassed and horrified if they knew what I was doing on it now! It was positioned against the windows in my apartment, so I could see the street lights shining through my blinds onto my naked body against the couch.

I was a mess. Not a total mess. But right in that sweet spot of being horny and drunk, so all proper decisions were well out the door.  He was turning me on… like I had never be turned on before.  His face between my legs while I had my couch cushion pressed against my face.  His tongue and fingers pressing against me in alllllll the most beautiful ways… and I was feeling things like I had never felt before.  There was an ecstasy  about the way he ran his tongue between me that I had never encountered. This, was all of a sudden, new to me. And I was completely caught off guard.

Eventually, after I had came multiple times, his tongue stopped and he climbed on top of me. I was so shaken that I I couldn’t be touched anymore and had to switch sides and flop positions, only to have myself cum on top of his stomach. This had never happened before! I was horrified!!!! What had my body just produced?!  I grabbed for my vagina to stop it producing the cum and found that I had more to produce! WTF?! I was so embarrassed that I said “ahhh I’m so sorry, be right back!”

But he knew better. He said it was totally okay and that he understood and didn’t mind. He found it “hot.”  But I, in the bathroom cleaning up, was horrified.  I couldn’t believe that a part of me and actually squirted onto another human being. Like- #OMG to the fullest. Contain yourself Yenny!  Don’t just squirt on people!!!!

But, as my sexual life as evolved over the years, I find that this minor “blip” in my life is nothing, Guys, in fact, from what I’ve learned, actually enjoy this!  Even encourage this.

I look back on this time in my life with awe. I was so young (24-ish) and had no idea what I was doing lol.  All I knew was there was this guy, who fancied my enough to talk to me and come over for some fun, and ultimately make me cum.  How lucky was I…. right?

At least, that’s what I kept telling myself.

I think…honestly…I was in a tough place and craved the attention.  Lived for it. And it was unhealthy.  Actually… I know this to be true.

After my first stint in the hospital- about 4 weeks long- I came back and he was dating someone else.  I wasn’t surprised… how can I expect a guy to wait for me with no contact for 4 weeks?!  Not even I could sustain that. And I had sustained a lot at that point.

But he made a point to tell me he was dating someone else. He came over after I had gotten back home and had gently broken the news that while I was gone he had found someone else.

I was mildly crushed, of course. Although, after all, I had went away for four weeks, without any notice. What did I expect?  I was back in a good mental space again, damned if I was gonna let this minor romantic setback screw things up for me.

I had let him go in peace.  Without knowing what we would become in the future…